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the more tragic, the better.
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[30 May 2009|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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 pensive |
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music |
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Plastic Bertrand |
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I watched my little sea star graduate from high school today. Wild.
I feel old as hell. Her ceremony was the complete opposite of mine...freezing cold.
Graduation day for me was about 100 degrees and everyone was dripping sweat. Sweaty teenagers..sick.
Very much enjoying this french music I am listening to.
If only I knew what they were saying...Oh well.
I found a supppper rad place in Ferndale that I want to live in so bad.
If only I could find a couple of roomates. Shoot, it's hard enough to find even one.
Chances are I'll wind up in some dumpy apartment, alone. Ugh.
I am over people thinking they can come and go as they please.
Mind-fucking games suck. I am not here for anyone's convenience.
Almost 30 years old..but ya sure don't act like it.
Eh..20, 30, doesn't matter. All dudes I date act the same--like shitheads.
It doesn't really effect me anymore.
Had my heart ripped out, so nothing really touches me any more.
Instead I just get pissed off and annoyed.
I guess cynicism is better than feeling like death. Whatever.
Whoaaaa..it's gettin' Wing Nutty in here. Gotta goooo.
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[18 Apr 2009|09:06pm] |
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holy fuck. life is crazy.
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[23 Feb 2009|06:43pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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matthew good |
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Going to yoga class in a bit....
I need to blow off a little steam.
Plus, my ass has been sitting on the big red couch all winter and it ain't pretty.
I watched Sicko last nite.
I love Michael Moore...fuck all the haters.
So, it was kind of ironic that my insurance company called me first thing this morning.
I've been battling Cigna over a medical bill from June of 2008.
I'm so fucking sick over it...I just want it taken care of. I've been getting the run around for 8 months.
About to snap...uggghh...
I can't wait for Mexico part II.
Holy smokes, do I need a vaca..
Totally sick of this scene and everyone walking around with their heads up their asses.
Most people in Mexico are just genuinely nice, sincere..
That is just asking so much around here and I'll never understand why.
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[04 Jan 2009|07:51pm] |
The past few weeks have been completely hellacious.
I had to let someone go about a week before Christmas leaving me short staffed.
I was out of town for New Year's and am now recovering from the stomach flu.
We're all fucking exhausted.
I start interviewing tomorrow and I need someone to knock my socks off because this situation is not kosher.
Spent NYE in Chicago. Too many people on one trip equals not getting very much of anything accomplished.
We got to go to the aquarium though and watched the Dandy Warhol's on New Year's and that was a lot of fun.
Sure beats people binging on coke until 2pm. the next day and getting yelled at by transvestites.
2009..who knows what you hold.
I don't really feel close to anyone anymore and I've decided that I need more single friends and/or people who want to live an active lifestyle.
Staying inside just because it is cold out or you want to hibernate in your boyfriend's butt all winter is unacceptable. Booooringgg.
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| How I amuse myself...(True story) |
[02 Dec 2008|11:00pm] |
"Why did you just kick him?"
"Because he's a fucking idiot."
"He may be a fucking idiot, but you still shouldn't go around kicking people in the face."
Awww...I got told.
But Sirrrr!...his face was right by my foot....
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| Hmmm.... |
[29 Oct 2008|11:40pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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music |
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morrissey-suedehead |
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What was supposed to be my temporary promotion has turned into a permanent one.
I am happy with that and the fact the my hard work has not been overlooked.
I used to love my job though and I can't say that I do anymore.
I've been really dissatisfied with the direction that the company is going in.
Unfortunately, there is not much else for me to do in Michigan concerning this field..blah.
Chicago is calling my name..but I'm pussyfooting it to say the least.
I need to just get the hell out of here and I know it.
If I don't it will be one of my biggest regrets in life, I think.
But, it is much easier said than done.
Sometimes I think I will never be satsified and it is upsetting...
I bought a new car on Monday. Yeah!
I had been driving the Saturn since I was 16.
It was definitely time. I can now join the alliance of "broke ass hoes."
I picked up a little freelance work writing for Real Detroit.
Peep the 'All Dolled Up' column and you'll find my name.
Doing something fashion related on the side..and making a little extra cash.
So, I am happy to be doing that.
Been doing a lot of reflecting lately.
This time last year I was crazy in love and it is odd to think that that will probably not ever happen again.
I'm not sad about it, looking back.
It is sad that I wasted a lot of love on a person who did not care for me in the same way.
But I am not sad about the chance of not being in love again.
Hopeless romantic..I am no more.
I am comfortable on my own and I think I've unintentionally become more dependent than I'd planned.
I've developed a tendency to either use guys I don't care about at my convenience OR blush and turn the other way from the one's I may have any interest in. Weird. How old am I again?
Shitty relationships and listening to too much Bikini Kill are to blame, but I am OK with that.
whatthefuckever.
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[17 Aug 2008|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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i leave for boston on friday! it will be my first time visiting the city..
i'll be attending probably the most extravagant wedding i'll EVER attend...
it seems like my uncle and his fiancee have quite an agenda planned for us. excited!
crazy things are going on in the work world..
i'm getting a "temporary" promotion from november-january as our regional supervisor will be on maternity leave.
i am thinking that if i am not asked to keep the position after she comes back, i will be a sign for me to start looking for a new job in '09.
i will have been with the company for 3.5 years and ever since half of the company got bought out last year, everything has been going downhill.
if i don't get to keep the promotion, there will be no point in me staying. i'm sick of "waiting it out" as things slowly turn to shit. blah. way to sell out and ruin all of your employees lives betsey...
on a more positive note, i am helping out holly from 89x with an event i am super excited for...
it is for a great cause, so save the date...sunday, sept. 14th.
i will have more details soon and everyone will also be hearing about via radio soon as well..yay.
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[10 Jul 2008|12:54pm] |
i am currently all over the fucking map in my heart and in my head, but still feel pretty 'together.'
all of this moving out nonsense is stressing me the fuck out.
i'm beyond tired of looking at apartments and flats that are not only shitholes, but far too expensive for what they are.
right now i'm banking on living with a roomate in indian village or sticking it out here on my own and hoping someone will eventually move in.
my landlord really wants me to stay and talked about knocking down rent for me since i'll be alone and installing a digital thermometer so that my heat bill would be lower. i think i could even coax him into a dog at this point.
speaking of which, i'm going to look at a 2 year old black pug later today.
probably will end up falling in love and be severely bummed if i don't get picked.
hellbent.
i've become a total cougar.
all these young studs are drivin' me nuts.
ahhh...summer...love it.
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[11 Dec 2007|11:56pm] |
i am convinced that, in a nutshell, life is just a series of disappointment after heartbreak. repeat.
what do two people do when they care about each other but just can't seem to get it together?
i don't think either of us really know what we want. i thought i did, but..
it is hard to go a month without seeing someone and then see him and realize that maybe..just maybe..you'd rather be miserable with him than live another fucking second without him.
all my life has been lately is clusterfuck of fucking chaos.
for the most part, not in a good way.
you know you've hit rock bottom when people recognize you in your place of employment as the girl who was crying on the floor god knows where the weekend before.
who knows, maybe in 2008 i will get it together.
perhaps get out of here and pick up the pieces.
all that is for certain is absolutely nothing.
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| sometimes goodbye's the only way. |
[28 Nov 2007|01:10am] |
must be something in the air.
i felt really alone, but now it just seems like everyone i know is completely miserable as well.
everything is kind of coming to an end for everyone.
i still can barely deal with it.
the more i know, the less i understand and that certainly doesn't make things any easier.
fuck this shit.
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[03 Nov 2007|09:08pm] |
happiness comes and goes pretty fast.
my soles are worn thin.
i try to put my all into everything i do and everything that is important to me..work, school, relationships.
when things don't go the way i want, it is very discouraging.
i can't help but feel a little defeated...
what are you supposed to do when your best just doesn't cut it?
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[12 Sep 2007|10:16pm] |
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music |
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tegan and sara |
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back to the old grind aka school kicking my fucking ass.
oh well..it's almost over. for good. this is gonna be a looong, stressful few months though. ick.
there is nothing hotter than getting drenched outside in a down pour with your lover.
so good. thanks dally. it was a good "peace out" to summer as well since it is so chilly out now.
i sprained my ankle and wore an obnoxious cast for 2 weeks.
now the doctor wants me to wear a slightly less obnoxious ankle brace for 3 weeks.
it has to be worn with tennis shoes however, which i don't own. i don't feel like paying for this other brace and a pair of tennis shoes so..i am saying fuck you doc and hoping for the best with my little bandage wrap thingy from meijer. meh.
i wish i had a good snack right now. my veggies are covered in a boogery-like substance. boooo.
i got to eat french toast in eastern market this morning though..dee-lish.
ready for pumpkins and riding my bike again.
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[20 Aug 2007|11:57pm] |
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shitty weather really puts a damper on my mood.
summer is the only season i really enjoy. everything else feels way too cold.
must live by an ocean at some point in my life.
starting next month i will be taking 14 credit hours and co-managing my store full time.
peace out friends, life, etc.
i am waiting for my lover to come home from his trip.
sleeping alone is getting old and it has only been 3 nites.
heart on sleeve.
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| summer love. |
[04 Aug 2007|12:06am] |
summer really does make or break everything.
my birthday was this past weekend. another year come and gone. wowza.
i'm getting old for realz.
all that mattered to me was sharing it with everyone i love..which was fantastic.
this house is starting to feel like a home.
my body aches from so much love, but it is amazing.
things are starting to fall into place once again.
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| wasted day |
[24 Jul 2007|02:04pm] |
i've neglected livejournal for too long.
all i ever do is work. i got another mini promotion. instead of being assistant manager at novi i'm going to stay at somerset as assistant/co-manager. i'm glad i won't have to haul out to fucking novi everyday.
i moved out. living at 8 and woodward now in a little house.
it's nice..plus i can walk or ride my bike everywhere.
and my roommate cooks me scrambled eggs at 3am.
i had been basically living with the bf between his house and mine...
but i think that is done with now.
i hate having to deal with the confusion and heartache.
drinking and crying doesn't help the situation, but i'm not sure what else to do with myself.
i guess i have things to figure out on my own as well..
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| foolish. |
[30 Jun 2007|11:33pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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i am such a fucking asshole idiot.
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| i've looked in the mirror..the world's getting clearer. |
[05 Jun 2007|01:22pm] |
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music |
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bloc party- banquet. |
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i have been having too much fun lately.
getting to hang out with everyone in the world that i love is awesome. i'm just missing out on about 2 people.
makes me feel like i am 16 all over again.
i have been slightly self-destructive and perhaps making poor choices, but i don't even care. this weekend is bound to be amazing too with foreigner on friday and sass saturday. i fucking love summer!!
i had the stomach flu yesterday.
still feeling kind of shitty. i am running off of ritz crackers and cranberry juice.
at least i can finally hold something down.
i'm not sure if drunk swimming is the best or worst idea in the world.
worst- i almost drown in 4 feet of water. best- it's fucking awesome!
i got to swim in a jazzy salt water pool that was 90 degrees and made my skin and hair feel amazing.
it was the closest thing to mexico.
christina, amanda, and i sent our friend memo back in mexico a postcard. i miss it there! boo.
i am also miss my man if i don't see him for a day and i practically live with him.
wtf?? i think i'm going to puke again.
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| lebaneezer. |
[28 May 2007|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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i haven't slept in my own bed in almost a week. i can't wait to sprawl out tonite and hog this entire fucking thing without another body next to mine because i'm sure i'll be scrunched up in a little bed with another by tomorrow nite.
the theme of the weekend was "we didn't come here to sleep!"
this resulted in my cousin and i dancing on tables in our underwear till 4am last nite.
i hit my head on a lamp, but unlike julia stiles in 10 things i hate about you..no one caught me. instead, i just kind of tumbled to my own demise.
my cousin is a wife now. so weird. she was the prettiest bride in the woooorrrld.
my family is so insane/intense. i would not trade them...but 4 consecutive days with not a moment's rest has left me drained. they're ready for a grand finale memorial day bbq tomorrow that i'm probably going to skip out on. they drive me crazy..but i had a ridiculous/amazingly fun time.
it felt strange to be intoxicated in front of my 86-year-old grandfather who called me out on double fisting, but one drink was actually water. funny, nonetheless.
doing the dabkie at the wedding led by my dad's 90-year-old, 4 ft. tall uncle was incredible. i've never laughed so hard. until i caught my cousin's boyfriend going insane to footloose. i hated that song until last nite.
i really just want someone else to get married now so that the ultimate dance party can resume once again stat.
i danced so fucking hard+non-stop last nite. i'm 'bout to rub some icyhot all over my fucking body and call it a nite.
party starts again tomorrow...
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| yr part of my entity. |
[23 May 2007|12:06pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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rihanna- umbrella |
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it's amazing outside right now.
fuck going to school and sitting in a classroom with no windows. sounds like a bullshit idea to me. instead i will pack for the weekend, ride my bike, and take nut for a walk.
getting free vintage clothes.
mal's house/indian village.
old friends!
new friends!
sweeeeet lovins.
blueberry stoli and cranberry juice.
that is a list of my life lately/things i love. loooove it. it's good.
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rebelgirl's journal